​​​​How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

If you feel sorry for yourself, you will naturally struggle with depression more.

Think about it: when you feel sorry for yourself, you focus on how bad your situation is, which naturally makes you more miserable and depressed.

For this reason, if you want to stop being depressed and remain depression-free, make sure you don’t ever feel sorry for yourself. Instead, learn how to appreciate all your capabilities and other great things you have going for you, which naturally makes you feel better and happier.

Right now, you’re going to learn how to stop feeling sorry for yourself the easy way, so that you never struggle with self pity again.

A story about self pity

In The Depression Cure, Dr. Stephen Ilardi tells a story about one of his depressed patients feeling sorry for himself, after going to the grocery store and seeing a man with shriveled legs and a missing arm.

Yes, you heard that right: he felt sorry for himself, after witnessing someone else’s plight.

Dr. Ilardi recounts the story this way: “As he ambled up and down the aisles, he noticed a haggard man perched in a wheelchair near the checkout line. The man had visibly shriveled legs, and one of his arms had been amputated just below the shoulder. After passing him, many customers would glance back in pity.”

“Taking in the scene, my patient began brooding: ‘I’ve been in agony for months, but no one else can see it. As far as they know, there’s nothing to be concerned about and nothing to pity. But if they could actually see what I’m going through, they’d know that I’d give my right arm to be free from this depression, and I’d do it in a heartbeat.'”

The most amazing part of this story is Dr. Ilardi’s reaction to this incident. He sees this story as evidence of how painful depression is, rather than educating his patient that this type of self-pitying mentality naturally makes a person severely depressed.

How to get rid of self pity by seeing no value in it

Here is a simple question for you to anwer: do you want to stop being depressed? Do you want to feel better and happier instead?

If so, the huge insight is that feeling sorry for yourself takes you in the opposite direction you want to go, since it keeps you focused on how bad off you are. Indeed, if you’re pitying yourself, you’re ruminating and dwelling on negative value, which keeps you feeling awful and depressed.

So be smart and choose to see no value whatsoever in feeling sorry for youself, since it’s self-destructive and works against you.

By consciously choosing to not see any value in it, you naturally eliminate any motivation to feel sorry for yourself. This in turn makes it easier to quit wallowing in self-pity, and to instead think in more positive ways that make you feel better, happier, and less depressed.

So this is how to avoid self pity by simply having no interest in ever feeling sorry for yourself.

How not to feel sorry for yourself the easy way

To make it even easier to never pity yourself again, appreciate that it never makes any sense to feel sorry “for yourself”, as if you’re doing something good, right, or noble “for yourself” by appreciating how bad your situation is.

Unfortunately, there can be in a glitch your thinking, where you think that it’s good and right for you and others to recognize how bad off your situation is. Therefore, if others don’t feel bad for you, then at least you’re feeling bad “for yourself”, as if it’s a good, right thing to do.

This is the exact kind of mentality Dr. Ilardi’s depressed patient had. He was almost angry that others recognized the plight of the amputee, but they didn’t recognize his struggle with depression. So he felt sorry for himself as if it was a good, right thing to do.

This is a huge glitch in thinking, because this type of self pity makes your situation worse, rather than better. So it makes no sense to think you’re feeling sorry “for yourself”, as if you’re doing something good, right, or beneficial for yourself, because you’re actually hurting yourself.

Indeed, far from being your own best friend, when you feel sorry “for yourself”, you become your own worst enemy.

How to not pity yourself & feel great for yourself instead

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, which is self destructive and doesn’t make any sense, always feel great for yourself.

If you think about it, this makes complete sense in every way to do. After all, when you feel great your life is more enjoyable, meaningful, and worthwhile.

So when you feel great “for yourself”, you’re actually intelligently doing something for yourself that benefits you.

The overall key to feeling great for yourself, rather than sorry for yourself, is to recognize that you could focus on negative value in your life, just like Dr. Ilardi’s patient did. Indeed, this might be a perfectly valid thing to do, just like it’s valid to see a glass as half empty.

However, just like it’s also valid to see a glass as half full, it’s equally valid to focus on all your capabilities, and everything you have going for you.

The difference is that focusing on all this positive value makes you feel great for yourself and helps you become and remain depression-free, which makes it a far more intelligent, beneficial, healthy thing to do.

How to deal with self pity the smart way: 4 steps

From this moment forward, consciously decide to stop feeling sorry “for yourself”, which only makes you feel worse and more depressed. Instead, choose to feel great for yourself, which helps you become and remain depression-free.

These 4 steps are how to stop wallowing in self pity and always feel great for yourself, instead.

  1. See lots of value in feeling great for yourself, and no value whatsoever in feeling sorry for yourself.
  2. Focus on your capabilities and everything you have going for you, rather than wasting any time focusing on how bad off you are.
  3. Appreciate that it’s always ok, beneficial, and great to feel great about yourself and your situation, rather than wasting any time feeling bad about yourself and your situation, which only makes your situation worse.
  4. Choose to feel great for yourself rather than pity yourself, regardless of whether anyone else does, because this is a beneficial, intelligent, and completely sensible thing to do that makes your life better in every way.

By following these 4 steps, you will become and remain depression-free much faster and easier. Indeed, this is how to overcome self pity and depression in smart, intelligent, effective way.

Next: How To Get Rid Of Stress And Depression →

You are here:

Section 7 Lessons:

  1. How to handle negative emotions with confidence
  2. How to get rid of bad feelings intelligently
  3. How to stop feeling sorry for yourself
  4. How to get rid of stress and depression
  5. How to be optimistic & stop being pessimistic
  6. How to get rid of anxiety and depression fast
  7. How to get rid of guilt

Next Section In The Depression-Free Course:

Section 8

About the author

Hi, I'm Dave Fonvielle, the founder of Always Greater. On this website I teach you step by step how to be happier and more successful achieving your goals, whether it's completing a small personal to do task, like doing the dishes, or a large business goal, like launching a new product. Get my free 3 Tiny Habits for Being Happier & More Successful training for all of this right here.