​​​​Do You Really Need Help Being Happy?

There is a big difference between wanting other people’s help to be happy (and enjoying and benefiting from their help), and needing other people’s help to be happy (which means you can’t achieve and enjoy happiness without other people’s help).

Appreciating this difference can make all the difference in the world to you, and naturally help you become a much stronger, more confident, and much happier person immediately.

Indeed, if you want to become happier and stay happy consistently, it’s important that you:

  • Stop needing other people’s help to be happy (stop needing their support, acceptance, or approval)
  • Start becoming happy & staying happy consistently with or without anyone else’s help (be happy with or without any support, acceptance or approval from others)

Here’s why it’s so important to do this.

How needing other people’s help to be happy hurts you

If you need other people’s support, acceptance, or approval to be happy:

  • You naturally feel anxious, desperate, and miserable, if no one is giving you the type of help you want or believe you ‘need’
  • Not only does this naturally make you less happy, in general, and create feelings of fear and anxiety, but it also puts you in a very weak, vulnerable situation, where you always feel weak and helpless to some degree
  • This lack of confidence and security makes the process of eliminating unhappiness and becoming a happier person a lot more challenging
  • Indeed, even if you do achieve some degree of happiness, there will still be the unpleasant concern that you could be unhappy at any moment if people are not there to help you
  • The overall result is much less success and achievement in becoming happy and staying happy consistently, and predictably having more happy/unhappy mood swings, depending on whether other people help you or not

The overall lesson: needing other people’s help to be happy is inherently self-destructive and counter-productive! It actively prevents you from becoming a happier person and remaining happy.

How being able to be happy with or without other people’s help benefits you

If you’re able to be happy with or without other people’s support, acceptance, or approval:

  • You naturally feel more calm and confident, even if no one is helping you to be happy, but at the same time, you’re also able to enjoy and benefit from other people’s help if they do decide to help you in any way
  • So this is a win-win situation where you naturally always feel happier in general, and you’re also in a much stronger, more secure situation, where you always feel more powerful, more capable, and more confident, no matter what
  • This increase in confidence and security not only boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel better and happier, but it also makes the process of getting rid of any sadness, depression, or unhappiness and becoming happier a billion times easier
  • Even better, once you do achieve happiness, you naturally have the peace of mind that you can stay happy whether or not there is anyone to help you feel that way
  • The overall result is way more success and achievement in becoming happier and staying happy consistently, and having a much more stable, happier mood

The overall lesson: being able to be happy with or without help from others naturally makes you feel better and happier in and of itself, makes it way easier to become happier and happier, and is absolutely crucial for being able to stay consistently happy.

If you want to be a happier person, this is by far one of the best things you could possibly do for yourself.

Why being happy with or without other people’s help makes sense

Clearly, having the ability to be happy without any help from others is highly beneficial. Not only does it make you a happier person, but it will also help keep you happy.

But it also makes a lot of sense to enjoy your capability to be happy with or without help from others for other reasons:

  • While there are different things that can help make you feel happier, happiness is ultimately created in the mind, by thinking in positive ways that make you feel better
  • The person with the most power for helping you change the way you think is you, since it’s ultimately your choice whether you want to get rid of negative thoughts and think positive thoughts instead
  • When you consider all this, it makes absolutely no sense at all to believe that you ‘need’ other people to be happy, when you are clearly the most powerful person for making yourself happier, and you already have everything it takes to feel happier (a functioning mind and the capacity to change your thoughts)
  • Instead, it makes complete sense to believe that you can be happy with or without other people’s help or support, and that you can elso enjoy their help to become happier faster and easier, if anyone does decide to help you in any way

To be clear: if you benefit from therapy, or support groups, or self-improvement programs and resources (such as this one!), that’s great.

The key, though, is to enjoy and appreciate these things as tools or ways of becoming faster and easier, and that you enjoy and appreciate them on those terms, rather than ever believing that you need them to be happy or to stay happy.

How to stop needing people’s help to be happy

Get rid of the following negative thoughts that make you feel needy, insecure, and dependent on other people’s support, acceptance, and approval to be happy.

Click on each negative thought to learn why you’re better of without it, and why it doesn’t make sense to think that way.

Impact

  • You have a lower sense of self-esteem, due to believing that what other people want is more important than what you want
  • You are only motivated by what others want you to do (rather than being self-motivated), so you are like a leaf on the wind, feeling happy or unhappy depending on how others want you to feel
  • The result is that you have way less success and achievement becoming happier, and you are less powerful, less capable, and less confident since you are highly dependent on the desires of others for feeling happy

Sensibility

  • Why on earth would you think that the way other people want you to feel is more important than you, pesonally, want to feel?
  • How you feel affects your own life more powerfully than anyone else’s, so if you think about it, how your personal desire to feel happy is way more important and relevant than how anyone else wants you to feel
  • Also, when you consider the negative effects of sadness, unhappiness, and depression, it makes no sense to all think that it is ‘good’ or ‘right’ to feel that way, if others want you to feel miserable, for whatever reason

How to be capable of being happy with or without other people’s help

Become more independent by thinking positive thoughts that make you feel calm, secure, and confident that you can become happy and stay happy consistently, regardless of whether anyone gives you their support, acceptance, or approval for doing so.

Click on each positive thought to learn how it helps you, and why it makes sense to think that way.

Impact

  • You have a higher sense of self-esteem, due to believing that what you want is at least as important as what other people want
  • You are self-motivated to become happy (rather than being only motivated by others) due to seeing value in what you want and believing that it’s ok, great, and beneficial for you to want be happy
  • The result is that you take steps to become happier, regardless of what others want, and consequently have way more success and achievement becoming happier, and you are more powerful, more capable, and more confident, especially since you are not dependent on the desires of others for feeling happy

Sensibility

  • How you want to feel is extremely important, since it has an immediate impact on your life, and what you do (or don’t do) to feel happier and enjoy life more
  • When you consider this, your personal desire to feel happy is clearly way more important and relevant than how anyone else wants you to feel, so it makes complete sense to accept that what you want is at least as important (indeed, much more important, in this case!) than how other people want you to feel
  • Also, when you consider all the wonderful benefits of happiness, it makes complete sense to accept that it is ok, great, and beneficial for you to want to be happy, especially since this is a very constructive desire that will naturally help you improve your well-being and change your life for the better

Improve your life immediately

Right now, complete this achievement by taking steps that will help you rewire your mind to be able to become happy & stay happy consistently with or without other people’s assistance. This, of course, will naturally help you become happier (and stay happier) faster and easier.

Next: Stop Blaming People (Including Yourself) For Being Unhappy →

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Happiness Course

Lesson summary:

If you feel like you need other people’s help, support, and approval to be happy, it’s more challenging for you to be happy. Learn why & what to do instead.

About the author

Hi, I'm Dave Fonvielle, the founder of Always Greater. On this website I teach you step by step how to be happier and more successful achieving your goals, whether it's completing a small personal to do task, like doing the dishes, or a large business goal, like launching a new product. Get my free 3 Tiny Habits for Being Happier & More Successful training for all of this right here.