Is being unhappy my fault? Do I really have no one to blame but myself for my own unhappiness? Or is it someone else’s fault? Who is to blame?
There is a common belief that if you’re sad, miserable, or unhappy, someone has to be responsible for it, and therefore blamed for it. In other words, either you or someone else has to be faulted for your unhappiness, whenever you’re unhappy.
This is destructive nonsense: no one ever needs to be faulted or blamed for your unhappiness. Ever!
Indeed, if you want to become happy and stay happy consistently, it’s important that you:
- Stop blaming yourself and others for your unhappiness (stop faulting yourself or anyone else for any bad feelings or any perceived failure to be happy)
- Start crediting yourself and others for any happy moments or any steps taken to become happier (start appreciating all the happy moments you’ve experienced as well as what you’ve dong to become happier, and give credit to yourself and others for these things whenever you can)
Not only will this change naturally feel good and make you happier in and of itself, but it will also help you become happier a lot faster and easier.
So here’s why it’s in your best interest to make this change immediately.
How blaming yourself and others for your unhappiness hurts you
By playing the blame game, and either faulting yourself or others for why you feel sad, miserable, or unhappy:
- You are naturally angry with others (it’s their fault), or angry with yourself (it’s your fault), and either way you are a much less happy person and enjoy life less
- Also, with this type of a focus, you are not seeing any happy moments in your life that you could enjoy and feel happy about, nor are you focusing on what you could do to become happier, which would definitely help you achieve greater happiness
- The result is that you remain feeling sad, miserable, and unhappy, without making any progress becoming happier, and in such a way you naturally remain ‘trapped’ in an unhappy state
The overall lesson: blaming yourself and others for bad feelings not only makes you feel bad, but it also actively prevents you from becoming happier, which is ultimately what you want!
So, any way you look at it, it doesn’t make any sense to do.
How giving credit for happy moments & steps taken to become happier helps you
When you give yourself and others credit for any moments of happiness you’ve enjoyed, or any actions that you’ve taken to feel happier, you naturally:
- Feel a sense of pride and accomplishment, appreciate yourself and others more, and naturally feel better about yourself and other people in your life
- Indeed, by focusing on things of positive value to you, and appreciating their value to your life, you’re naturally a lot happier and enjoy life more (which is exactly what you want, in the first place!)
- Furthermore, by feeling happier about happy moments you’ve experienced, as well as what you’ve done to become happier, you’re naturally more motivated and energized to become happier (so your success and achievement with becoming happier naturally increases on autopilot)
The overall lesson: giving yourself and others credit for all your happiness “successes” is a fantastic, beneficial thing to do, as it naturally makes you feel happier in and of itself, and also helps you become happier (and stay happier) a whole lot faster and easier.
So when you consider all this, it makes complete sense to do.
Why crediting happiness achievements makes complete sense
By now, hopefully it’s a no-brainer why it’s in your own, best interest to celebrate all your experienced happiness and any progress you’ve made to become happier, rather than assign blame for any sadness, misery, depression, or unhappiness in general.
Indeed, it makes complete sense, especially when you consider:
- Just like it’s neither right nor wrong to see a glass as half full or half empty, it’s neither right nor wrong to focus on progress with happiness and give credit for it, or focus on unhappiness and assign blame for it
- The difference is that giving yourself and others credit for any happiness progress naturally makes you feel better and become happier (which is what you want), while assigning blame actively makes you feel miserable and prevents you from becoming happier (which is completely counter-productive)
- When you consider this, it makes complete sense to appreciate that giving credit for “happiness success” is a positive and beneficial thing to do that makes complete sense, while assigning blame for unhappiness or any ‘failure’ to be happy is a negative and self-destructive thing to do that doesn’t make any sense at all, if you want to be happier
So, if like many people, you think you’re doing something ‘good’, or ‘noble’ by blaming yourself for being unhappy or not being happier, get this ridiculous idea out of your head. Not only is this completely unnecessary to do, but it’s also self-destructive.
Just like it doesn’t do you any good to blame or fault others for this, it doesn’t do you any good to blame or fault yourself for it, and as such, it never makes any sense to do this at all.
Instead, it always makes complete sense to appreciate any experienced happiness, and how you and others have contributed to you enjoying a happier life, since this takes you exactly in the direction you want to go.
How to stop blaming yourself and others for any unhappiness
Get rid of the following negative thoughts that make your blame yourself or others for any sadness or unhappiness, and that make you feel like you’ve failed at being happy.
Click on each negative thought to learn why you’re better of without it, and why it doesn’t make sense to think that way.
How to start crediting yourself and others for any happiness success or progress
Start thinking positive thoughts that make you credit yourself and others for any happiness achievement and celebrate your success more, thereby naturally making you feel more successful in being happy and becoming happier and happier over time.
Click on each positive thought to learn how it helps you, and why it makes sense to think that way.
Improve your life immediately
Why do people blame others for their unhappiness, when this naturally makes them feel miserable and prevents them from becoming happier? A very likely answer is that most people don’t understand or appreciate the negative effect this has on their lives.
But you do, now. So don’t blame others for your unhappiness (or yourself!) from this moment on.
Right now, complete this achievement by taking steps that will help you rewire your mind to stop blaming yourself and others for any unhappiness in your life, and to start crediting yourself and others for any happy moment you’ve experienced or anything you’ve done to feel happier.
This, of course, will naturally help you become a happier person and help you stay happy consistently.