How common is self hatred?
It’s probably a lot more common than you think. For example, did you know that every month 40,500 people type “I hate myself” into google? Every month.
Some people get more specific and type in things like I am fat and ugly and I hate myself. (About 100 people every month type in that exact phrase!)
This means that there is a lot of self-loathing and self-hatred out there, even if lots of people aren’t talking about it. So if you hate yourself, know that you are far from being alone.
But also know this: it is very self destructive to hate yourself, and it will predictably make you miserable and depressed.
For this reason, in this lesson you’re going to learn how to overcome self loathing, so that you know exactly what to do if you hate yourself. The payoff is that by learning how to not hate your life, you’ll naturally be happier and find it easier to become and remain depression-free.
Is self loathing a sign of depression?
There is a strong connection between self loathing and depression, but what is the relationship?
Some people look at self hatred as being a sign or symptom of depression, but this is looking at the situation backwards. It’s much better to appreciate that hating yourself naturally makes you very depressed.
Think about it: if you hate yourself, you’re never happy with yourself, and you feel awful being “stuck” with your life. Your future also looks awful to you because you’re “stuck” being you no matter what you do, and you hate being you.
All of this is a recipe for depression. Also keep in mind, if you hate yourself, you will predictably find ways to sabotage yourself and make your life worse, because on some level you feel you “deserve” to suffer and you “don’t deserve” to be happy and enjoy life.
The overall lesson is that if you hate yourself, you turn yourself into your own worst enemy, and create a stressful, miserable, depressing life for yourself. So right now, you’re going to learn how to stop self loathing, and how to become your own best friend, so that you find it easier to become and remain depression-free.
How do I stop hating myself & become my own best friend?
You have a choice. You can choose to either be your own worst enemy, and find all sorts of ways to beat yourself up, or you can choose to be your own best friend, and find all sorts of ways to build yourself up.
The choice is completely yours, and appreciating this choice is the first step for learning how to deal with self hatred in a constructive way.
For example, as you’ve learned, you can choose to look at all the lack of achievement in your life, and beat yourself up for all your supposed failures, or you can choose to see everything you’ve learned and gained from all these so-called failures, and encourage yourself to live a better, more successful life with everything you’ve learned and gained.
Right now, you face one of the most important choices you will ever face.
If you struggle with self loathing, you can choose to continue hating yourself, and guarantee that you will be your own worst enemy, or you can choose to learn how to get rid of self hatred, and instead learn how to accept and love yourself, so that you become your own best friend.
The path to becoming your own best friend starts by recognizing there is absolutely no value whatsoever in hating yourself, and instead there is tons of value in loving, accepting, and encouraging yourself.
Just by recognizing this, you already make it easy to quit hating yourself, and you find it easier to start being happier and happier with yourself.
Indeed, you open the door to appreciating yourself and all your capabilities, which is how to cure self loathing quickly and easily.
Why do I hate myself so much?
If you see little or no positive value in your life, you will struggle with feeling worthless and having low self esteem.
If you hate yourself, you’re not just seeing little or no positive value in your life. You’re also seeing a lot of negative value that you detest, and it is all this negative value you see that fuels your feelings of self-loathing.
For example, if you focus on all your supposed mistakes, failures, and negative qualities, and you think you’re full of “sin” and a pathetic loser, you’re focusing on lots of negative value that makes you disgusted and miserable with yourself, and that makes you hate your life.
This is helpful to know, because part of learning how to get over self loathing is appreciating how negative views of yourself naturally lead you to hate yourself.
How can I stop hating myself?
In order to stop hating yourself, you’ve got to stop seeing this type of negative value in yourself and in your life. To do this, follow the steps for how to have high self esteem, so that you see tons of positive value in your past, present, and future for you to be happy and thankful for.
Since this information has already been covered in great deal, it will not be covered here. Just know that following these steps benefits you so much, and that following these steps is how to stop self hatred and stop being your own worst enemy, and instead start being more appreciative of yourself and become your own best friend.
Indeed, if you struggled with self loathing before, and then “mysteriously” found that you didn’t hate yourself anymore after completing those kinds of steps, now you know why this fundamental change already happened: you began seeing positive value to appreciate, rather than negative value to hate.
After all, this is how to get over hating yourself quickly and easily, and instead start accepting, enjoying, and loving yourself.
How to stop hating your life by accepting yourself completely
Earlier, you learned how to eliminate stress that contributes to depression, by appreciating that you can accept and handle anything constructively. Furthermore, you learned that whether or not you accept something is simply a choice that you can make at any time.
Right now, it’s time to apply that lesson to yourself, and to recognize that you have a choice.
You can choose to not accept yourself as you are, and to not accept the things you’ve done. By doing so, you’re naturally “rejecting” yourself in a stressful way that always makes you unhappy with yourself and leads you to hate yourself.
Or, you can choose to accept yourself as you are right now, including all the things you’ve ever done. By doing so, you’re naturally more at peace with yourself, and naturally happier with yourself, which makes it easier for you to love yourself and be your own best friend.
Keep in mind that even if there are some qualities about yourself that you don’t like (for example, you feel overweight and don’t like that), you can still accept yourself as you currently are, and then look forwarded to improving your life so that you become even happier with yourself.
In other words, accepting yourself as you are doesn’t mean that you resign yourself to never changing or improving yourself. Not at all!
On the contrary, it’s about fully accepting yourself, which means accepting how you are right now and everything you’ve ever done, and also accepting your capacity to learn, gain, and benefit from everything you’ve ever done, as well as accept that you can improve your well-being and situations in many ways.
This is an extremely powerful form of self-acceptance that helps you already be at peace with yourself as you are right now, and that at the same time energizes and motivates you to continually improve yourself and your well-being, as you accept and appreciate everything you are capable of doing.
This is exactly the type of full self-acceptance that you want to develop, in order to stop hating yourself, and to instead become your own best friend in the entire world, who accepts and appreciates you as you are right now, as well as all that you can be, more than anyone else in the world.
How to overcome self hatred by not punishing yourself
If you hate yourself, you naturally see a lot of negative value in yourself, and then you naturally think that it’s good and right for you to suffer, feel bad, and be punished for all the negative value you see.
As a result of this kind of thinking, you find ways to start beating yourself up and punishing yourself, and you become your own worst enemy very quickly.
Keep in mind that this kind of thinking is similar to the kind of stressful negative thinking that creates guilt. Remember, when you learned how to get rid of guilt, and how to improve your life peacefully instead, you learned how to stop thinking the negative thought: “It is good and right for me to feel bad.”
The key insight there is the same key insight here. There is nothing “good” or “right” about you suffering, feeling bad, or punishing yourself, since it only makes your life worse, and makes you a more miserable person to be around.
In other words, it’s not good for you, and it’s not good for the people around you.
Instead, what’s good is for you to constructively accept and handle yourself, and whatever you’ve done, and to use everything that you’ve learned and gained to improve your life moving forward, without wasting a second punishing yourself.
By doing so, you naturally build yourself up, and become someone of more and more positive value with every step you take. In this way, you’re happier with yourself, and your life becomes more meaningful and enjoyable, and others are also happier to be around you.
In other words, you become of more value to yourself and others when you lose any interest in punishing or hurting yourself for the supposed “negative” value in yourself, and instead you use all your capabilities to constructively build yourself up and improve your life.
For this reason, starting right now, choose to see absolutely no value whatsoever in ever punishing yourself for the supposed “negative” value, qualities, or deeds in your life, and instead see lots of positive value in peacefully improving your life, with everything you’ve learned and gained, without pain or suffering.
This is how to deal with self loathing in a constructive way by replacing punishing yourself with improving yourself. By doing so, you stop hating and hurting yourself, and you start loving and helping yourself, which creates a huge difference in your experience of life.
How to stop hating yourself: 7 steps
If you’ve struggled with self loathing, how do you stop hating yourself quickly and easily?
A lot of the things you have already learned from this course naturally help reduce and eliminate self-loathing, by teaching you how to not hate life but to insteady appreciate and enjoy it.
So, hopefully, by this point, you’re not even struggling with self hatred in the slightest, even if you did before.
However, just in case you find that you do still hate yourself on some level, make sure that you follow these steps so that you stop hating yourself immediately, and so that you instead love, accept, and encourage yourself:
- Decide that you want to be your own best friend rather than your own worst enemy. Everything else will follow easily and naturally from this decision.
- Choose to see no value at all in ever hating yourself, and lots of positive value in accepting, loving, and encouraging yourself. (This makes it very easy for you to let go of negative ways of thinking that make you hate yourself and make you your own worst enemy, and to instead naturally think in more positive ways that turn you into your own best friend.)
- Remove any obstacles that make it challenging for you to value yourself. (You learned how to do this in the lesson that taught you how to overcome low self esteem.)
- See tons of positive value in your past, future, and present. (You learned how to do this in the lesson that taught you how to have high self esteem.)
- Choose to fully accept yourself as you are right now, including everything you’ve ever done, by recognizing that this acceptance is just a choice that you can make. (And, remember, fully accepting yourself means also accepting your capability to always improve yourself and your situation.)
- See no value whatsoever in ever punishing yourself, making yourself suffer, or making yourself “pay” for supposed negative value in your life, and instead see lots of positive value in peacefully improving your life with everything you’ve constructively learned and gained over the course of your life.
- Take action to improve yourself and your well-being, using everything you’ve learned and gained in your life to help you. (Improving your life is an encouraging act of self-love that demonstrates acceptance of your capabilities to improve your life and situation. It is how you become your own best friend even faster.)
By following these steps, you naturally replace self-loathing with self-loving, and you become a much happier person in every way. Indeed, you stop being your own worst enemy, and you turn yourself into your own best friend.
Of course, by doing so, you naturally find it a million times easier to become and remain depression-free. So if you struggle with self-loathing at all, be sure to complete these seven steps today to profoundly change your life for the better.
Next: How To Be Happy With Yourself →
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Section 9 Lessons:
- How to let go of regret & be thankful
- How to deal with failure & feel more successful
- How to overcome lack of self confidence fast
- How to overcome low self esteem and depression
- How to have high self esteem fast
- How to stop hating yourself